Happy Birthday Jeremy!

We had a quick mini pre-party for Jeremy on May 21 right before we jumped in the car to head to Vegas. The kids and I had his gifts set up and decorated when he walked in the front door from work. It was a quick hurry open your gifts, throw them in the suitcase and jump in the car type party. Then we spent his actual birthday in Vegas and also in Idaho! Happy Birthday Jeremy! Thanks for all you do for us!

Unpaid Vacation # 3

For this unpaid vacation, we're really splurging and going to...

We leave tonight! I'm sure we'll have all sorts of stories upon our return! Keep posted...

Oh and while looking for a map of Idaho, I came across a pic of Miss Idaho 2005. She's a hottie!

Blinding Love

On Monday, my sweet little children gave me the unfortunate gift of temporary blindness. First Anden was wrestling around and poked me in the right eyeball. Thirty minutes later, when I had barely recovered from that incident, Taylee did one of her flip flop moves and her little finger razors literally sliced my left eye ball. Are you kidding me??! I give and give to you kids and you repay me by shish kabobbing my eye balls?! Well I knew my sliced eye was definitely a lot more painful than the poked eye. It wasn't until the next day that the pain and annoyance heightened. I was at work and tears were literally running down my face...from one swollen red eye. I had to emergency run Taylee to the pediatrician (I'll post that story later) so I had the doctor look at my eye. She told me I needed an eye patch for 48 hrs until it healed. Just what I wanted to be, a pirate for Memorial Day! Well our busy little lives don't include extra time to run to the store for a pirate costume. So Jeremy came up with this contraption (and you know by now that phrase usually means something scary!) Anden was so envious that Jeremy was forced to make one for him also.

Clearly not a lot of foresight went into selecting a Suns sweat wristband to be the eye patch. As the saltly left over sweat particles embedded into the fibers did wonders to agitate my already damaged eye. Needless to say, I immediately made it a priority to go buy a real eye patch. And alas, 48 hrs later my eye is back to it's perfect pre-pirate form!

Headless Mystery

Yesterday I came home to find this lovely present on my front porch.

How does a decapitated pigeon land on your front porch? Worse than that, how does it's poor little head land 1 foot away from the body? Maybe our neighbors don't really like us after all? Could it be the roaring of the boat engine at 7am on Sunday morning that pushed the neighbors to the brink of Voodoo spells?

Unfortunately Anden thought this morbid creature was super cool. I spent the rest of the afternoon blockading the front door as to keep him from rushing outside to prod and poke at the specimen. No offense to the headless corpse, but I just didn't want any witchcraft magic to spill over onto Anden.

Father Son Campout

This weekend was the church Father Son campout. Jeremy and Anden were both more than thrilled about it. They practiced putting up the tent in the backyard, unrolling sleeping bags, setting up camping cooking pans/utensils, lighting matches, etc. Anden was definitely going to be the most wilderness educated of all the 2 year olds there. (partly due to the fact that he's the self appointed Assistant Webloes Scout Leader also)

After countless hours spent prepping and packing, I kindly reminded Jeremy this was a one night excursion and therefore the entire contents of our home did not need to be packed. They left on Friday about 1pm. I bravely handed over my son and threatened Jeremy's life for his life. The campsite was up by Pine, which is 1.5 hrs away. I figured if they left early they could get more play time since they had to be home by 10am the next day for a birthday party. Well around 3:30pm I get a call from them. I looked at the clock and it had been 1.5 hrs so I assumed it was the customary "Hi, we made it." But how could I be so naive?!

Instead it was ...

(loud fuzzy background noise) "Hey...don't think....right directions....call...." Of course I rambled on that I couldn't hear him, where are they, is my son alive, etc all before realizing that the call had dropped. I immediately called back and it went straight to voicemail. Great, they're out of range and I had no idea what's going on!

Then I get this lovely text "I don't think I have the right directions. Can you call someone and see? I'm at FR 144 and FR 149". Ok, first of all I don't speak that code. Second of all, wouldn't you think to check BEFORE you left?! I immediately started calling other wives...who clearly aren't well versed in that coded language as well. For the next TWO hours, I communicated this info back and forth to Jer via text. Rather annoying that you can have text service but not phone service. We did get it confirmed that he was at the right spot but the all male planning committee hadn't put up the signs yet to the exact campsite. Now, if this was an activity planned by the church women there would have been silk screen printed banners in multiple colors for 10 miles leading up to the campsite. Then there would have been a entire welcoming committee beaming with enthusiasm and handing you a homemade packet of directions, agendas, meal menus, fun things to do in the area....oh and of course a cute handout with a treat.

So there they waited at the corner of FR 144 and FR 149 for THREE hours for someone to arrive with "real" directions. Luckily Anden thoroughly enjoyed exploring the surroundings and didn't know he had just lost 3 hours of his precious 15 hour trip.

The rest of the camping story was second hand gifted to me upon their return. I'm quickly doubting that I have been given the full story....seeing as I realized later in the day that Anden's long luscious eyelashes are SINGED on both eyes! Oddly, no one knows anything about that.


Here's some of the pics they took. Jeremy's pyro addictions are clearly being passed on...seeing as 90% of the pictures include fire. I guess that narrows down how his eyelashes got burnt.

Here's one of my favorites. Anden eating dinner. Apparently they didn't feel the need to use the plates or silverware that I packed. Instead he's eating a breast of grilled chicken like it's a cookie. Mmm scrumptious!

They both had a fabulous time and were definitely dirty and exhausted! I, on the other hand, had a relaxing night with Taylee, Lyndsay and Aaron! Good thing family came into town to keep me company! And I didn't even manage to burn any of their hair follicles.

Happy Mothers Day

Happy Mothers Day to all the wonderful Moms out there! I now truly understand how much we, as mothers, have earned one day of provoked gratitude from our children/husbands!

One of my favorite gifts this year came from my always so thoughtful father! While we were human bowling in the backyard, the UPS man delivered this. Upon opening the box, Jeremy exclaimed "Sweet! Now I don't have to get you flowers!"

But then he was even more excited when we opened the little accompanying package. Squealing with delight, "He sent you melted manure!!"

Clearly chocolates aren't quite durable enough to withstand the Arizona heat.

Slip N Slide

I was so proud of myself for all the money we saved at the Zoo...that I went shopping and spent that amount plus more! One of my more rational purchases was a Slip n Slide. Yep the same kind we had as kids! However I remember it being much bigger! I also splurged and bought the accompanying "Slide Boogies". I was a little bothered cuz that sounds like something that falls out of my childrens' noses rather than an inflatable raft. But either way, the kids had a fun time! Basically it turned into a game of human bowling.

I'm pretty sure the blow up padding at the end is to help stop you. Apparently they didn't take into consideration Jeremy's human strike throwing skills. We eventually added an additional landing pad for Anden.

Even little Taylee wasn't safe...

Luckily he used bumper buddy caution with her and she loved it!

I even had to get in on the action.

Oh and during this activity, I also happened to learn Jeremy's deepest darkest fear....slip n slides! Wow, who knew he was scared of them?! lol After much teasing and taunting by myself, he finally braved up and joined in the fun. That's when it was confirmed that yes, the slide is much smaller than I remembered it.

Unpaid Vacation #2

Geez has it already been 2 weeks??! How quickly we lose money! Well for this unpaid vacation, we successfully managed to score the Culture Pass from the library. Let's just say the city had a great concept, poor execution. There are about 10 different museums, etc to choose from and the pass allows 4 adults free access. However each library was only given 5 passes per museum. Yes you read that correctly, 5 passes for the millions of people they serve. There is no waiting list, you can't reserve the passes and there's actually only 1 pass available each day. They state it's a first come, first serve method. You have to show up to the library obnoxiously early and anxiously wait while eyeing your competition (and lets just say the word "free" and "public" bring out all sorts of interesting creatures). Then when the doors are unlocked and opened you literally shove, scrape, claw, trip, elbow and sprint through the doors to the Culture Pass Kiosk. Slow readers have the disadvantage here because this definitely isn't first come, first serve. While you're reading the titles to get the pass you want, someone behind you reaches and grabs the one you wanted! Let's just say it took both Jeremy and I 4 different separate attempts before we figured out the pathetic process. Although Jeremy believed it wasn't worth endangering ourselves, I was not to be defeated! The outcome, success!! (and I managed to meet a lady from Pocatello that grew up with and was best friends with one of our high school coaches, Coach Pat Tiede! Funny what you find out while waiting 30 mins for a stupid library to open)

Introducing...The Phoenix Zoo!

Jeremy built this contraption for optimum sun protection. I figured since we were there on a free pass, we might as well look the part too.

Taylee was more than thrilled about everything.

Anden loved seeing all of the animals! We probably should have told him this one wasn't real.

It was so hot! I forget each year how quickly 100+ degrees wipes you out! We ran from shade spot to shade spot. This was by the far the most genuis animal of the day.

Do you think he wonders each day how he managed to pick the short stick and ended up in a zoo on the equater??

After we had as much heat as we could handle, we braved the splash pads/caves/slides. I think every kid at the zoo had the same idea. It was packed! But it was definitely worth watching kids knock each other over and seeing our selfless little boy cut in front of the slower kids every chance he could.

Taylee is the wiggliest baby I have EVER seen! I call her the human slinky; always flipping over one way or the other. But I think she's worse than that now. She so desperately wants to run everywhere but hasn't quite figured out what her legs are for. While Anden was knocking kids over on the water slides, we attempted to get a pic of her and us. Tried 3 times, failed 3 times!

Thank you City of Phoenix for the $48 to get into the Zoo. No worries, we still financially supported your facility by spending $3.78 for one measly ice cream sandwich!

Splash Pads

Right behind our house is a huge park, play ground and the coveted splash pad. We have burned a path from our house to there. However as much as we love it, Anden still wimpers every time on the way there that he wants to go to the water park and NOT the splash pad! Luckily he gets a sudden case of amnesia when he enters the spraying waters.

Taylee can now participate in the festivities as well. She absolutely loved it.

This year is a bit different from last year. I'm now shoving a double wide trailer stroller instead of the old single wide. We already have debates over who sits where, why Taylee doesn't understand pulling your hair from behind hurts, and NO you can't lean down and grab the tire while we're moving. We're so blessed that we get to have these fun experiences every day! ...and if you remove the layer of sarcasm, I'm actually serious! :-)

The Reincarnated Rhino

For the past few weeks Jeremy's side project has been to give the Rhino a makeover. OK yes it was in fact my foot in the background kicking him in the rear to do this. He was given guidelines that it absolutely couldn't be anywhere in the realm of the $5000 paint jobs that are prevalent around here. So after many hours pouring over Rhino websites and forums and paint stores, he came to me with the perfect and yet cost effective method for a new paint job.

Jeremy: "I'm going to spray paint it!"

Katie: "(laughing) You're WHAT?!"

Jeremy: "No, I'm serious. Trust me!"

Katie: "(no longer laughing) If you ruin it, we are NOT paying to replace it!"

Jeremy has a love affair with the rattle can! I am absolutely convinced that if he were to ever leave me, it would be for the gorgeous slender spray paint can. Apparently it has some sort of mysterious allure that I fail to possess.

The project began. First he painted it all red. Then we came up with the design for the silver sections. Jeremy asked me to help tape off the tailgate. I could be wrong but I don't think he was impressed with my taping skills.

Luckily my plan worked and I was immediately relinquished from the role of Senior Designer. After accepting my forced resignation, I unanimously appointed myself Chief Supervisor. (ok so it was only me voting)

Over the next couple of weeks, my job roles included:

• Monitoring the safety of every other innocent item in the garage to ensure it wasn't "accidentally" painted
• Checking his pulse once every 2 hours to see if he was still coherent from the excess fume inhalation
• Complaining that the inside of the house now smelled like spray paint too
• Kindly reminding him the project was only half done
• Harassing him to finish the project
• Questioning when I could park back in the garage
• Harassing him again to finish the project
• Kindly reminding him that stores do in fact sell the clear coat he needed to finish the project
• Not so kindly offering to buy the clear coat for him
• Questioning him again when I could have my parking spot back
• Debating with him that we don't need new fancy bolts/hardware to reinstall the panels
• Accompanying him to the store to buy the new fancy bolts/hardware
• Standing over his shoulder, with the kids climbing everywhere, while he reassembled the Reincarnated Rhino
• Applauding his outstanding efforts that we now have the coolest Rhino in the neighborhood!!

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Honestly, who doesn't love a good makeover?!

Bumper Sticker

I was driving down the road, while talking on my cell phone, the other day and saw this heartfelt bumper sticker.

I was overcome with immediate agonizing guilt. I quickly pulled away my phone, took a picture, and then proceeded to keep on talking. I'm sure my reaction to the message on their sticker was just the impact they wanted it to have.

(for those of you that are squinting, click on the picture and you'll get a life size glimpse)

Luckily Child Labor Laws don't have jurisdiction over our household.

Summer is Here

The heavens have opened and the angel choir is singing! Our community water park is now OPEN for the summer! (and all the splash pads too!) Anden couldn't be more ecstatic. I've heard 143 times in the past two days how much he loves the "really high big water slide" and "can we go to the water park again PLEASE!!".

Anden, and all the other 8 yr olds, love sitting in excitement and anticipation for the huge bucket of water to dump on them while breaking their necks and ruining their vision.

Immediately scampering over afterwards to reassure us that he is still alive and has now learned the importance of covering his head and eyes. (we didn't get the memo to bring goggles)

Taylee loved basking in the sun while carefully dipping her toes into the frigid water. Anden, on the other hand, learned the hard way while he deeply contemplated why his limbs were blue and numb.

After a quick Ring Pop Resuscitation, Anden was back to all smiles.

I guess this means summer is officially here. We'll have a chair permanently reserved at the water park for the next 5 months!

Long Lasting Flavor

Do you ever think, "wow I could have gone my whole life without knowing that!"? I had one of those moments yesterday. Jeremy called me at work at 7am to tell me that Anden entered the bedroom beaming with joy and proceeded to ask him if he wanted a piece of gum. Jeremy *claimed* he was only eating one stick at the time but had 3 other sticks in his hand; which Jeremy immediately confiscated.

Apparently when he woke up and before he came into our room, he managed to scale the kitchen counters and sniff out a rogue pack of Extra Peppermint Gum. Usually he just comes straight into our bedroom. But today his irrepressible appetite for long lasting flavor lured him into the kitchen first. (one of the disadvantages of having our bedrooms on opposite floors and opposite ends of the house!)

Well I forgot about the sticky situation, until 3pm when I was overcome with the strongest most putrid peppermint scent. I could not figure out where it was coming from! I was tearing apart couch cushions looking for spills or anything that could explain the pungent yet sweet smell. There were no explanations to be found! Finally the mystery unveiled itself when Anden finally owned up that he went poopy. I thought that was odd since I didn't smell the poopy diaper. Well when I opened his diaper my nose was literally melted off. Something was seriously wrong. The looks of the diaper and it's contents were of normal proportions...however the smell was abnormally incorrect! Now, I've changed enough diapers in my small stint of motherhood to know and expect what I'll find. Therefore I'm braced emotionally, physically and mentally for the result. This absolutely did not follow protocol. A mental amendment to the alluring concept of human bowels was quickly etched into my brain. If you see crap....it should smell like crap! It absolutely should not smell like PEPPERMINT! Curse Wrigleys and Extra for their long last flavor (and smell!).

"Mommy what's wrong?" he innocently asked while I was gagging and yet trying not to stare at the train wreck of grainy contents within his diaper. Still naive to the reality of the situation, I demanded "Did you eat sand today??!" "No Mommy!" That's when my light bulb lit and I realized it was in fact the *one piece* of gum he ate this morning. I was so disgusted yet intrigued. Following CDC regulations, the diaper was quarantined for later for Jeremy to properly examine and reaffirm my conclusion. Lucky for us, Anden supplied me with another sample for examination 10 minutes later. I'm pretty sure these will take precedence over the swine flu samples for review. I immediately texted Jeremy "OMG our child is sh*tting peppermint!!" He somehow thought this was hilarious. I knew his attitude would change when I allowed him the pleasure of examining the contents.

Finally at 8pm I had the enjoyment of sharing the specimen with Jeremy. I had to twist his arm with all sorts of dirty tactics to get him to take a manly whiff and peek at it. He finally surrendered and started to pull apart the diaper. He was met with much resistance. Apparently the sample had mutated into a distant relative of the gumiticeae family. He literally had to peel it apart. He managed to get it about 1/2 an inch open before he too had facial features blown off from the wretchedly sweet smell. I was safely sitting across the room with a large satisfying smirk on my face.

So...how many pieces of gum do you really think Anden ate??