Overseeding Time

It's that time of year in the southwest when you have to overseed your lawn (in order to have green grass for the winter). Just like little programmed robots, all millions of us march to Home Depot and all buy the same thing. Rye Seed and Cow Sh*t. My two favorite things. It's like a Nasal Party!

Jeremy and Anden tackled the overseeding project on Saturday morning. Anden was already in his soccer uniform. So I threatened Jer to please keep him sh*t free. It was his first game and I didn't want him labeled the homeless stinky kid.

Unloading the sh*t

This is some comfy sh*t!

Filling up with Rye Seed

Breaking the sh*t mounds

The new alternative to a sand box

That night as the weather cooled we opened up our windows and were immediately hit in the face with the stench. Aah, the aroma of Idaho. I was whisked back to my younger country sh*t filled days.

And doesn't it just make you laugh to say the word "sh*t"? You know it does.

First Soccer Game

Saturday was Anden's first official soccer game! He was so excited! Here's a recap of the events...

Ouch, my cleats hurt!

Ouch, my shin guard strap is too tight!

I don't want to wear those socks!

I want the green side of the jersey not the white!

When's grandma coming?

Is Grandma here yet?

I can't reach my soccer bag!

I don't see Grandma!

Where's Grandma parked?

Did you bring snacks?

I don't want that water bottle.

Taylee's touching my bag!

Taylee's looking at me!

I can't find Grandma!

Where's Grandma's car?

And that was just on the drive to the game.

Now for the kick off. It's 5 on 5, no rules, no refs, no goalies, 20 min halfs. Sounds easy enough right? Well clearly that wasn't the case. Our team consists of all 3 yr olds minus the two 4 yr old ringers. The other team was clearly ALL 4 yr olds. They understood the simple rules like don't touch the ball, kick in the right direction, don't knock over your own teammate, sit on the sideline when you're not playing, which goal was which, etc. We, on the other hand, couldn't even bribe 5 kids to play at the same time. So most of the game was 5 on 2 and possibly 3 for about 30 seconds. Albeit, it was 100 degrees and I was dying of heat just watching. So I can't hardly blame the kids for not wanting to play.

Anden started the game and "played" strong for about 5 mins all while keeping his eye on Grandma to make sure she was watching him. For all he knew he was in a race match, not a soccer match. He was just loving running with the kids, with his head cocked sideways staring and grinning at us the whole time. Then as the intense action made a break down our sideline, he darted from the pack and over to us. "Hi Grandma! Do you have any snacks? Do you want to go to McDonalds with me and get an ice cream cone?" We quickly reminded him the game was in progress and attempted to shoo him off. But not without a quick handful of chex mix. That was successful for another 30 seconds before he was back. "I'm tired. I'm hot. I want that water bottle. Hi Taylee. Hi Papa. Grandma can I sit on your lap." We unsuccessfully tried to coax and bribe him back out to play. But he had officially abandoned his 2 teammates on the field. Grandma was clearly way more enticing than racing the kids. Luckily half time started and that meant orange slices. So off he darted to his team to scrounge more food for his withering away starving body.

After half time, his team disappeared. Literally, we only had 4 kids left. The others must have found a tree to climb, bug to chase, rock to throw or shade to hide in. Anden was there physically but not as a contributing member to his team. We bribed him out there and all he wanted to do was "block the ball". So he stood there with legs and arms spread out as far as they could physically stretch....and proceeded to block his own teammates from scoring. Oh well, at least our kid wasn't crying in the corner or hanging from a tree branch.

Needless to say, it's a good thing they didn't keep score! (Well I'm sure the other team was! We chose to "lose" track of those insignificant numbers) Three year olds playing soccer is the best! I can't wait for next week!

Pre Game Warm Up

Pre Game Team Huddle

Practicing "no hands" approach

5 on 3

Snack Break Time

Newspaper Announcement

I'm a little late with this post but I've been dying to share it with you...

In the small town where I grew up, it is common practice to post a newspaper ad announcing your upcoming wedding. So the week of the Idaho Open House, Dad submitted one on behalf of Lyndsay and Aaron. I had proofed it for him prior to the submission to the newspaper office. It was grammatically correct and error free. Well let's just say this small town newspaper isn't on the cutting edge of technology. You submit hard copies of your work and they re-type it prior to publication. Upon our arrival to Idaho, Dad was thrilled to show us the newspaper. Here's a scanned copy (because of course they don't have an online version) of the FINAL published product.

(click on image to enlarge)

After reading it (or attempting to re-construct what it should have been), I was speechless. Good thing there's only 500 customers that receive this newspaper and they probably didn't even notice the 13 errors, my favorite one calling Aaron a derogatory human part. Welcome to the family ASRON!

Honestly, how did I make it out of there learning how to spell AND properly construct a sentence?!!

And for those that might have been educated in a schooling system as superior as mine, here's the edited version. (prize to whomever can find more errors! It's like a game of Where's Waldo!)

Last point: 13 happens to be my favorite number! However, my father has triskaidekaphobia. I busted up laughing when I counted the errors prior to posting this. Go figure.

Finally...Soccer Time!

Anden had his first organized team sport practice last night! He's 3 now and finally old enough to play soccer! He was SO excited and wore his full gear around the house and kicked everything in sight (yes including his sister) for an hour before practice.

His team consists of 3-4 year olds. They're so cute! Everyone practices with their own ball...which is a bit chaotic but definitely funny. He has a couple 4 yr old ringers on his team and one little girl that cried all through practice while her dad ran along with her making her kick the ball. (personally I think she'll be my fave of the season!) Jeremy was already busy scoping out of the competition. I'm sure it will be intense practices and drills at our house this week until his first game on Saturday.

Pre-Practice Warm Up

First Team Meeting and Introductions

Their first attempt at kicking through the cones

Solo attempt

Last Drill of Practice

Obviously their first practice paid off! Seeing as not a single kid made it through the cones! lol Luckily Anden and another boy cheated with their hands to reposition their ball in order to finally kick it in!

Considering we've never really worked with Anden or taught him rules, he did a great job! During the practice, we did however make a mental note to discuss that minor "no touching the ball with your hands" rule. We're so excited to see how much he learns and grows during the season!!

Oh and the best part...his coach's name is Coach Doolittle. Seriously. With a name like that, you know this is gonna be a fun time!

Daily Adventures

Yesterday afternoon we went to Costco. We were out of the usuals: water and paper towels. We were only there about 15 mins. But in that time, we still managed to make a scene. Anden was admiring the Tonka Truck display (box after box of trucks stacked on top of each other in the center aisle). My cart, including Taylee, was unknowingly parked too close to a nearby Christmas tree and thus she was trying her hardest to pull the light bulbs off the tree. I turned my attention from Anden to Taylee to quickly prevent her from pulling the 12 ft tree, adorned with glass ornaments, over. While I fought off her tiny tight grip, I glanced back at Anden. Right at that moment I saw the Leaning Tower of Trucks. Time froze and before I could yell or dive, the display of boxes containing hard Tonka trucks came crashing down on him!! And of course he looked up to see what was happening right as it crashed on his forehead and knocked him to the ground. He immediately started wailing and all of the fellow customers stopped dead in their tracks. Not to help, of course, but to stare at the poor pathetic mother that has no control of her kids and is rudely disrupting their economy size shopping experience. I immediately dug through the wreckage to salvage my son. He looked up at me with big tears in his clear blue eyes. The damage was already appearing. There were 2 horizontal blood blisters popping up on his forehead and multiple scratches and scrapes all over the rest of his forehead. I was less than pleased! How many kids have touched that display during the day?? But yet my kid is the only one that gets smashed by it??! Where was Costco's fiduciary duty? I gathered my wounded soldiers and loaded them into the cart. I was on a mission to find a manager. Negligence suit here we come! Costco's paying for Christmas this year!

After explaining the scenario. We were handsomely rewarded. Anden received a sincere apology complete with a baggie full of ice and a paper towel. After his whimper of dissatisfaction, he was given a small paper cup to fill up with ice from the soda dispenser machine. He marched over and overfilled his cup with ice and then glanced back while proceeding to top it off with Pink Lemonade. Hhmph we showed them didn't we?! We grabbed our free soda, baggie of ice, paper towel, and marched on out of there. Don't mess with the Harbecks.

Disney Live

On Saturday, we went to the Disney Live Rockin' Road Show!

This was my consolation prize to the family for not actually going to Disneyland this year. I must be a Grinch because I'm a firm believer that 3 and 1 year olds do not need to go to Disneyland (contrary to Jeremy's wishes). We will reserve that trip for when they're older and then we can ALL enjoy it! :-)

We decided to make quite the event out of the day and even rode the Light Rail to the arena. The kids thought that was very cool! Public transportation is always a thrill. Especially the unique breeds of human species that frequent it. My favorite was the hallucinogenic man behind us talking to his chihuahua. The kids were enthralled by him and wouldn't stop hanging over the back of the seat to talk to the Crazy. He shared all sorts of age appropriate dream bursting stories with them (aka going to Disneyland when he was 5 to ride the Dumbo ride and it was closed and he was crushed and still is). Then he held his dog up way too close to Taylee for her to pet and said "She's the Princess!". I admiringly gazed down at Taylee while innocently stating, "Ya she definitely will be the Princess." His face went stone cold and he quickly replied, "I'm talking about MY Princess!" as he eerily snuggled the dog to his face and kissed the panting pint size half dog half rat. I immediately snatched the kids and put them on my lap the rest of the ride.

Waiting for the train!

Showing off the $20 souvenir Anden suckered us into

The show was a lot of fun and the kids did extraordinarily well! We made it a whopping 30 minutes into the show before Anden leaned over and said "Is it over yet? I wanna go back home." I immediately grabbed more snacks and shoved them in his mouth. The salty sugar rush tied him over while Jeremy and Taylee were holding their own WWE event in the chair next to us.

Intermission

Second half

The Toy Story Soldiers

Live footage...

The Finale...complete with Confetti!

Playing in the confetti after the show! Their fave part!

Anden found his own stage

Heading back to the Light Rail

Bye Mickey & Gang!

Oh and if you're still counting, this was also Unpaid Vacation #5389

Job Opening

We are not thrilled to report that the following position will soon be open. Therefore we are currently accepting applications for 'Best Friends' at our Anthem, AZ location.

Sadly, the Ashworths have gone delusional and have decided to move to Utah right in time for a long cold snowy winter. Hopefully our relationship with them didn't push them to this breaking point. Luckily they didn't read the fine print in their contract that waives us of any damages, financial or emotional.

Job #123456 - Harbeck's Anthem Best Friends

Qualifications:

• Must have laid back, humorous and sarcastic personalities
• Must have patience for abnormal random events that occur while in the Harbeck presence
• Must have matching one syllable names AND have a disregard for common spelling such as double consonants (aka Mat and Jes)
• Must own an off road vehicle and have a love for dirt. Maxi Pad Attire on the forehead to collect sweat definitely NOT a requirement.
• Must have perfect kids that will always make the Harbeck kids look unruly...even on their best behavior days. (added this one for you Mat!)
• Must be Cosmetology Board Certified and have a convenient in home salon.
• Must have an overwhelming love for cheap tacos AND be willing to frequent the same restaurant and torment the same waitress every Tuesday.
• Must live within a 2 minute distance. Also must have a home situated close to a main street so we can easily do a drive by and check up on you.
• Must have vehicles with excellent battery power
• Must have mild mannered children that don't cry when Anden undoubtedly tackles or "hugs" them too tight.
• Must NEVER report us to child services for any accidental questionable avoidable happenings...like babies falling through screen doors, etc.
• Must have a toy trailer for back up purposes. This is especially necessary after Jeremy rips off the RV gate with our trailer and flattens the tire in the process.
• Must train your kids to sit in a stroller for the first year of their life. No exceptions.

Harbeck Inc. is an Equal Opportunity Employer. We are committed to a diverse and exciting workplace. Please submit all applications and materials by Oct 31st. If you're really lucky, you might get a call back from us...ok so more like a text. We're not so good at returning calls.

*Referral Bonus Included*: We are in fact desperate enough to pay you to find us friends.