A Day in My Life

I'm gonna clue you in on a little secret of mine.

I'm a dizzy blonde.

And it has nothing to do with intelligence!

Well....at least I don't think so!

I have this little problem with my body called

Iron Deficiency Severe Anemia.

I'm in denial most days.

And just think I'm abnormally tired from my crazy schedule.

I've been dizzy and light headed for countless years.

This is my norm.

And then whenever I actually go to the doctor.

They firmly remind me

that I'm not normal.

Um, I could have told you that myself! :-)

I beg each time not to give me a blood transfusion.

Somehow I win.

And we take other routes to discovery.

I spent all last summer being pricked, poked, prodded.

Nothing helped.

When a endoscopy and colonoscopy were scheduled,

I went into hiding.

I might feel like I'm 50.  But I swear I'm not!

I just couldn't accept needing a butt scope (to put it lightly! lol)

So I ignored the symptoms.

And apparently the problem too.

Fast forward a year.

Nothing changed.

Here we go again.

This time I left the doctor with a direct line to the Hematologist.

And this lovely packet.

The coveted at home Stool Sample Kit



Doctor: I see in your charts that we didn't have you do stool tests last year.

Katie:  (pausing whether to lie or not) Um, I guess I escaped somehow without those.

Doctor:  Well this is really easy, let me explain how this works.

From there she proceeded to explain how to take 3 stool samples. 

I sat there in complete middle school immaturity and bit my lip not to bust up laughing;

while staring at the ceiling, floor, window, walls.

Anything not to make eye contact with the poop smear packet.

After my quick briefing on collecting stools, she handed me the packet and said good luck.

I hurried and shoved it in my purse without even looking at it.

She smiled and said, 

"Then when it's complete, go ahead and mail it back in the enclosed envelope"

At that point my laughter erupted.

You honestly want me to MAIL my sh*t back to you in 115 degrees?!!

I apologize in advance to the innocent postal workers.

Well I took my denial approach for a week and never even got the packet out of my purse.

At my follow up appointment to discuss my pathetic hemoglobin levels,

I got the wrath from the doctor.

I vowed I would start the samples that day.

So I got home later and decided to finally read through the instructions.

I couldn't stop laughing.

It was the awkward uncomfortable laugh.

The kind that you think somehow masks your

Complete. Humiliation.

The countless jokes were swirling in my head.

But I forced myself to stay focused.

I couldn't let stage fright jitters take over.

I couldn't stress over how to avoid the "CAUTION" at the bottom.

Hello people, we live in Arizona.

Avoiding heat or light is

IMPOSSIBLE.

I instead focused on reminding myself how lucky I was!

Most people leave the doctor with Pixy Stix.

But not me,

I get Sh*t Stix