We were back from Mexico for a few days before
I headed up to Idaho for a special visit.
You see our family is dealing with a truly difficult situation
that I rarely talk about.
My mom's been battling a horrific form of stage 4 cancer for the last 2 years.
Up til then we were the rare lucky ones that hadn't been exposed
to the evils of cancer within our immediate family.
Our worlds got rocked when Mom was diagnosed with Sarcoma
and from there it's been one surgery after another
with radiation mixed in there too.
Each time we get good news, bad news follows shortly after.
So it's been quite the roller coaster couple of years.
We thought we had finally beat this beast.
Well sadly the sarcoma tumors are back
and nastier than ever.
Modern medicine isn't on our side anymore.
We've basically exhausted all options.
But yet through this all Mom has kept the most positive attitude
with an unwavering testimony.
She's a rare one.
Anyone else would probably be bitter at God by now.
But she still is thankful and embraces every day of life God gives her,
even despite the intense pain.
It's been weighing heavily on me that I needed to get up to Idaho
for a quality visit with her.
Usually I'm bombarded with my own children and their "travel moods"
that I can hardly have a full conversation with anyone when I'm in town.
I finally bought a plane ticket and would make the details work out!
Originally it was just me and Eastlie going.
But then things changed at the last minute and I went by myself.
I haven't been on a plane in over 10 years without children.
Heck I can barely even get to a grocery store without children!
So this was definitely a new experience for me traveling solo.
I was so sad to leave my baby
but it ended up being for the best.
I needed some quality time alone with my Momma!
I was up at 4am to head to the airport.
My flight left at 7am.
The sun was rising as I walked out onto the tarmac.
What a beautiful sight.
This was the beginning of a new bittersweet adventure for me.
I flew into Idaho Falls and Dad picked me up.
We chatted for a bit and then he took me over to Mom's house.
From there I stayed the rest of the day by my Mom's side.
It was so nice to not be pulled in 100 directions while in Idaho.
To not be referee'ing my children's fits
and to just have meaningful uninterrupted conversations instead!
It was SO needed and wonderful to be alone with Mom.
I can't even remember the last time this ever happened.
But it was also an extremely tough day for me.
You see up until that point I was somewhat in denial about this whole situation.
It wasn't until a last minute surgery she had 2 weeks earlier that it finally hit me
that the odds were no longer in our favor.
Once I got into Mom's home and faced the reality,
I pretty much sobbed all day long.
Of course there was laughing in between the crying.
But it was a brutal day for me to really digest what I was hoping wasn't true.
It was a good thing for me
but heartbreaking nonetheless.
But of course Mom kept her positive attitude and brave demeanor
through my ugly face sobbing.
That afternoon I took a quick pic to send to the family
as I was getting her settled in for a nap.
Big smiles as always.
Maybe that's why it's been hard for me to accept this
because in pictures, phone calls and texts she always looks so good and happy!
But then again that was always a much needed comfort too.
I composed myself while Mom napped.
And then after she awoke we did sneak over to Brylee's volleyball game.
That was fun to watch my super star niece play!!
Mom felt good enough that she came and Brad met us there after work too!!
It was a fun little carefree outing.
You see our family is dealing with a truly difficult situation
that I rarely talk about.
My mom's been battling a horrific form of stage 4 cancer for the last 2 years.
Up til then we were the rare lucky ones that hadn't been exposed
to the evils of cancer within our immediate family.
Our worlds got rocked when Mom was diagnosed with Sarcoma
and from there it's been one surgery after another
with radiation mixed in there too.
Each time we get good news, bad news follows shortly after.
So it's been quite the roller coaster couple of years.
We thought we had finally beat this beast.
Well sadly the sarcoma tumors are back
and nastier than ever.
Modern medicine isn't on our side anymore.
We've basically exhausted all options.
But yet through this all Mom has kept the most positive attitude
with an unwavering testimony.
She's a rare one.
Anyone else would probably be bitter at God by now.
But she still is thankful and embraces every day of life God gives her,
even despite the intense pain.
It's been weighing heavily on me that I needed to get up to Idaho
for a quality visit with her.
Usually I'm bombarded with my own children and their "travel moods"
that I can hardly have a full conversation with anyone when I'm in town.
I finally bought a plane ticket and would make the details work out!
Originally it was just me and Eastlie going.
But then things changed at the last minute and I went by myself.
I haven't been on a plane in over 10 years without children.
Heck I can barely even get to a grocery store without children!
So this was definitely a new experience for me traveling solo.
I was so sad to leave my baby
but it ended up being for the best.
I needed some quality time alone with my Momma!
I was up at 4am to head to the airport.
My flight left at 7am.
The sun was rising as I walked out onto the tarmac.
What a beautiful sight.
This was the beginning of a new bittersweet adventure for me.
I flew into Idaho Falls and Dad picked me up.
We chatted for a bit and then he took me over to Mom's house.
From there I stayed the rest of the day by my Mom's side.
It was so nice to not be pulled in 100 directions while in Idaho.
To not be referee'ing my children's fits
and to just have meaningful uninterrupted conversations instead!
It was SO needed and wonderful to be alone with Mom.
I can't even remember the last time this ever happened.
But it was also an extremely tough day for me.
You see up until that point I was somewhat in denial about this whole situation.
It wasn't until a last minute surgery she had 2 weeks earlier that it finally hit me
that the odds were no longer in our favor.
Once I got into Mom's home and faced the reality,
I pretty much sobbed all day long.
Of course there was laughing in between the crying.
But it was a brutal day for me to really digest what I was hoping wasn't true.
It was a good thing for me
but heartbreaking nonetheless.
But of course Mom kept her positive attitude and brave demeanor
through my ugly face sobbing.
That afternoon I took a quick pic to send to the family
as I was getting her settled in for a nap.
Big smiles as always.
Maybe that's why it's been hard for me to accept this
because in pictures, phone calls and texts she always looks so good and happy!
But then again that was always a much needed comfort too.
And then after she awoke we did sneak over to Brylee's volleyball game.
That was fun to watch my super star niece play!!
Mom felt good enough that she came and Brad met us there after work too!!
It was a fun little carefree outing.
As we were leaving the school parking lot I busted up laughing
and did a U turn to take a picture of this set up to send to Ryan.
"I'll give you 2 guesses as to what is odd about this picture"
He nailed it with his first reply.
UH THE TANK SNOW TRACKS?! hahaha
Now that's something you don't see in Arizona every....like forever! lol
Then we all went back to Mom's to hang out for a bit.
Such good times spent actually finishing conversations with relatives!
Eventually Luke took me to meet Dad so I could spend the night there
and recharge emotionally for the days ahead.
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